Saturday, 29 December 2012

Year in Review: Top Ten Quotes of 2012

  1. For The Win: Barack Obama responding to Romney`s claim US Naval Strength was greater in 1916 (?!)
    "Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets."
  2. "You know, I take that as a compliment... Better a MILF than a cougar... so tell him I said thank-you."
    BC Premier Christie Clark on a talk radio show
  3. Charlie Sheen
    "I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars."
  4. "The Arab Spring, Occupy Wall Street and the recent presidential elections have shown the power of real-time communications and citizen journalism, but today it’s still difficult for citizen journalists to earn money on even the most amazing content."
    Anton Gelman, chief executive, Cont3nt.com
  5. John Sculley – Former CEO of Apple and PepsiCo
    "Digital Health feels like the PC industry in the early '80′s."
  6. "Our Nation's 41st president George H W Bush has passed away in Houston. Tune to WBAP 820 AM for the latest."
    News Talk WBAP
  7. "A message erroneously reporting the death of President George H.W. Bush was sent out moments ago by WBAP News," it said. "Mr. Bush has not passed away. We sincerely apologize for this error."
    WBAP News director Rick Hadley
  8. Lady Gaga on her fans.
    "Some artists want your money so they can buy Range Rovers and diamond bracelets, but I don't care about that kind of stuff. I want your soul."
  9. Joel Stein, Time.com Can Obama Overcome the Urkel Effect?
    "Obama has done a good job passing, with his nice suits, easy smile and attractive wife. But those are just the over-30 nerd trappings of success... Sure, he played high school basketball, but how many cool kids play indoor sports in Hawaii?"
  10. "As far as trade is concerned, Canadian businessmen don’t know who Pussy Riot are."
    Konstantin Trofimov, Russia’s trade commissioner to Canada

Thursday, 27 December 2012

At Dave Charlotte's No Frills I sat down and wept


I took the week off. Meaning today was the first day when I had some “me” time. In fact, my first week of vacation since earlier this year. Which maybe explains what happened when I ran to the store to grab a few things necessary to make Turkey pasta pomodoro.

I'm a guy. I shop like Arnold plays the Terminator. March around in boots, scan for the target, and capture it. So I wasn't in an emotionally delicate state as I whizzed passed the electric doors. And scanned the red shopping baskets and acquired the one with the least garbage in it.

As I swiveled my head across the grocery section my eyes locked on the end-aisle display of boxed chocolates. My left hemisphere was whizzing like an IBM computer as I noted the very good price. But... I already had several superior box of chocolates at home. All received free, as happens at this time of year.

I resumed my swiveling scan and acquired the cherry tomatoes. Hmm, $1.49. Price=favorable. But again I already had tomatoes at home, and they had in fact garnished brunch. Next target – mini-baguettes. Mission- calculate optimum expiry date.

Off I went, dodging shopping carts and teenage stock clerks who treat the packed produce section as it they are playing Grand Theft Auto VII. (And kudos to them - it sounds like fun). And suddenly there was a temporal rift. The muzak switched to that hopefully grand piano sadness that intros "Clocks" that big Coldplay hit. The one with “Home, home, where I wanted to go”.

And I immediately start weeping.

Not tearing in the corner of the eyes. Not a single tear down one cheek. Full waterworks, like Tammy Faye Baker finding Jim in bed with the hookers.

It's not even a song I like. I don't vomit when I hear it on the radio, but neither have I ever sought it out on YouTube.

And now this song was transporting me to another state of existence. And as I stood there in a puddle of my own tears, my sole thought was “My life is perfect”. Yes – I was transported into a state of ecstatic revelation. A state of grace, immersed in the power of whatever it is that others call Jahweh, Buddha or L Ron Hubbard.

When I regained my composure I floated through the store. Of course the mini-baguettes weren't stale. Yes I remembered to buy that thing I'd forgotten to put on the list. Snapped up Perrier 4 for 5 bucks. A freezer case bursting with bacon on a great price. And I love eating bacon with breakfast when I'm on vacation. But I am a cancer survivor now. That means I have to live life differently - like someone who's been cured, and plans to stay alive.

I found the one checkout with no one at it, and sailed through. By now my revelation was so intense that the Matrix was fully revealed to me with the world running in source code as I savored the nuances of how we exist. The crazy bike guy whizzed by with the weird stuff he collects in his huge weird trailer and I cried “Merry Christmas`` though I knew he would not hear it. I just wanted to wish him to have merriment. I turned a corner and impossibly, the same crazy bike guy again passed me, going along different coordinates and with the huge trailer now empty. So this time I cried "Happy New Year”.

They had changed something in the Matrix. I`m hoping it means 2013 is going to be a better year. 

Song - Clocks, by Coldplay.


Danger: Malware Ahead!

So I just went to good ole Torontoist.com to find out what hipsters such as myself were going to be doing ironically tonight. And then this popped up in my browser:

Danger: Malware Ahead!
Google Chrome has blocked access to this page on torontoist.com.
Content from media.torontolife.com, a known malware distributor, has been inserted into this web page. Visiting this page now is very likely to infect your computer with malware.

Malware is malicious software that causes things like identity theft, financial loss, and permanent file deletion.


My readers know I use the Chrome Browser build 23.0.1271.97 m

Note that the alert does not indicate the source as the actual site: http://torontoist.com/. The source is the ad server media.torontolife.com.

Update from Torontoist's Hamutal Dotan (12.27.2012 3:03 PM)

Thanks for letting us know Alan. It's an issue with an ad that has now been disabled. We've requested review from Google, since as far as we know there wasn't actually any problem with the ad itself, and we're not sure why it was flagged.

best,

Hamutal

Hamutal adds "Please note that it is St. Joseph Media and not Torontoist that's doing the investigating, since we Torontoist and Toronto Life are operated by the same publisher.".

In other words, they are totally on top of it. Way to go!